Transitioning to College: Now What?
Yes, we've all been there. Our children become teens, navigate the pitfalls of high school, and are on the verge of adulthood. That can only mean one thing: College. How do we deal with this kind of transition? Not only do we have to consider new financial burdens, but also the emotional implications of having a child we have loved, nurtured and cared for every moment of every day, leave our home to live in a strange place full of strangers. We worry about negative influences, people with ill-intentions, our children maintaining academic focus, and will they remember to call us this week? And, what about those PLUS loans? Can we defer them while our children are in school? How can we best support our adult-child's needs while also maintaining the rules of our household? The issues are endless, but not without resolution, not without hope. This page will offer articles, links and other resources for parents who are at any stage of the college process.
It's funny how we worry so much about our kids and spend little or no time considering ourselves in the college equation. It's important for parents to remember that they have to identify and commuicate their needs with their college-aged children. However, that is sometimes easier said then done. We hope to help.
My first BIG piece of advice is to purchase a paperback called Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger. I read this book, too, after borrowing it from beloved friend, Jean. Jean recommended I read it during my son's senior year of high school--best advice ever. Though I've been a college professor for a very long time and know well the stages students go through in the college years, when it came to my son, I was somehow unable to put him in that context. I'm the "cool" professor who helps students in trouble at RIT, acting as a Faculty Advocate during student disciplinary hearings, where parents and lawyers are not allowed and a student's future often hangs in the balance. I'm understanding as a faculty advisor to students who, in their third year, decide to change majors, adding another several years of expensive tuition to their tab. I encourage adventurous students to go study abroad, to explore places like Norway, Russia, and the Middle East, if that's what they want to do. So how was it that I could not apply this same sense of "cool" to my own son?
Well, the gals who wrote Letting Go are so good at what they do, you can't help but gain a richer understanding of what is going through your child's mind before, during and after the college years. The book is available in major bookstores and online and will be the best $15.00 investment you could make to help you prepare yourself--yes, you! You can't help your child adjust to college if you yourself are not yet acclimated to the change. Give it a try and let me know what you think!
housereb@rochester.rr.om
Generation Me and Why it Matters to You....
Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of San Diego, published GENERATION ME: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--and More Miserable Than Ever Before (Free Press, 2006). Twenge answers all your questions on why your teen or twenty-something is acting the way they do. Knowledge is power--for both of you. After you've read it, dog-ear certain sections you'd like your child to read. It may help them to see what's happened and what will happen, allowing them the freedom to now make an educated, informed choice about their future success. Be overwhelmed by a hyper-competitive world, OR, take the environmentally-developed talents at their disposal and GO FOR IT??? Here at CCNY, we encourage the latter. And we know you do, too. So if you've ever asked yourself why your son or daughter is not living up to their potential--this book will help.
Great summer reading--and a great foundation for helping your GenMe son or daughter make the most of it! Let me know what you think: housereb@rochester.rr.com